USSR is the Best Country in the World

Translated by Ollie Richardson & Angelina Siard




The main task of the normal socially-oriented state is to look after idiots.

To defend its citizens from themselves, to try to reduce the destructive power of domestic idiocy to a minimum, which allows the human population to reproduce itself normally, to make it so that even the most clueless imbecile can live to a peaceful old age, not allowing these 95% in one or another way to harm themselves and others around them – their country, included.

In mechanics there is such a concept: “defence against the fool” – it is when smart people sit and think for a long time how to do it so that those who fall in the 95% to not break apparatus, to not cut off their fingers, to not set fire to or generally to not destroy everything around them, including themselves.

So, the better the state, the more humane and civilized it is, the stronger the “defence against the fool” is activated. And vice versa.

And it seems to me that our nostalgia for the USSR is connected, besides children’s enjoyable memories, primarily with the fact that the socialist system didn’t have (and probably never will have again) analogues to defend citizens from themselves, in terms of concern that any person, regardless of their origin, environment, intellectual and physical potential, could maximally comfortably and with dignity to live their life and fulfill their potential.

Because in social life “defence against the fool” (or, rather, defending the fool themselves) means that even if you are not the smartest, not the prettiest, not the most talented, not the most enterprising, successful, anyway, you will have a roof over your head, work that provides you with a guaranteed slice of bread with sausage, free medical care and education for your children, and retirement for old age. And as well as the trolleybus driver, the technician in the institute, tractor driver, machine operator, mechanic, farmer, the railway track inspector, they are not losers, who “do not integrate into the labor market”, but normal, needed, and socially important professions that allows people to be proud of them.

In addition, most people are guided. And it is vitally necessary for them that someone tells them what they should do, where to go, what to strive for, what to believe in, who to love, who to fear, or where not to climb because it will kill them. Otherwise they are lost. Or knowingly make a wrong decision, falling for scams of all kinds – from criminal to political.

Excessive independence in decision-making, for the majority is only harmful. And the phrase “do not listen to anyone, think only with your head” is valid only in case there is something to think with. But most people are not nearly as smart as they think they are.

And if an immature, not too bright, and not too strong-willed person is allowed to provide for themselves, if not to put any clear restrictions and guidance, but at this time to provide him with the minimum necessary for survival – so that they are not obliged to fight for life and sustenance – that person will start to degrade. And can irrevocably break their own lives and even their country.

If to give them a choice between The Sims 2 or an astronomy programme, between Enrique Caruso or Timati, between the work of a teacher in a rural school or a manager for the sale of garbage in a beautiful office, between studying to be a microbiologist or the rapid career of a reality TV star, between family loyalty or the opportunity to have a fling with everything that moves, between the ideals of friendship and mutual assistance or double-dyed egoism, between the brotherhood of man or the pride of nationality, between easy money or social significance of one’s own life, between a video about saving the whales or a video with Kim Kardashian, they will choose the ass of Kardashian.

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This is tested and proven.

The solution? Do not give such a choice, in which one of the options results in degradation.

It is, in fact, what the USSR was engaged in.

To deprive people of the possibility of wrong choices is a benefit and not a restriction on freedom. Of course, if you don’t consider as sense and the crown of your life the opportunity to nail your testicles to the cobblestones. Then yes, then the USSR is Sovok (pejorative term for the Soviet Union – ed), damn totalitarianism, a prison of nations, the oppressor of liberty, a queue for sausages, and “billions executed by Stalin personally”.

All ideology, all politics, all the social and cultural sphere was designed to defend citizens against any tragic life situations and disasters, to make them better, smarter, healthier, morally superior, and purer.

You’re a happy-go-lucky idiot, and do not care about your health? For now it’s your choice, you’re a free person, you can be treated and to undergo regular health examinations, or remain ill. Under capitalism, nobody cares, the worse your health is, the higher the contributions swiped from you by insurance companies. While in the Soviet Union the freedom of choice was inhibited by physical education, wellness sessions, regular medical examinations, compulsory chest x-rays, the issuing of sanatorium vouchers, and free medical facilities in walking distance.

You’re an idiot workaholic to the detriment of the family – well, this makes the owner of the business at which you work happy. But the labor code severely restricted your right to work till exhaustion for someone 24/7, literally forcing you to have a rest for the allotted time.

You’re an idiot alcoholic? For now it is purely your problem (well, and your unfortunate family’s), you’re a free person can drink at least until double vision, wine and vodka magnates will say thank you. But in the USSR, oh horror, you were taken to the sobering-up station, and then reprimanded at a party meeting, put on view, deprived of a bonus salary. And sometimes even forcibly treated in the Treatment-Labor Prophylactory, being forced to quit a harmful habit.

You’re an idiot-parasite, artistic temperament, you are searching for yourself, you dream to become a soloist of a rock group, famous writer, famous artist, while you play the guitar in the boiler room, begging for money from mother? No, it will not work, if you will kindly go to work to have a regular income, guaranteed pension in old age, and at least an occupation in life, should you not become the second John Lenon. But the legal article for parasitism is a violation against creative personality, the deprivation of the right to be homeless – how is it possible?!

You’re a family of good-for-nothing idiot-romantics? Songs around the campfire, mosquitoes, sunshine in the forest, you own just a backpack and a guitar, in the past – a failed marriage and seven children between you? It’s nothing terrible, continue to sing, the state will care for your children – a roof over your head, free food, education, creative and physical development, availability of social mobility even in cases when parents are unable to take responsibility for their own children. While under capitalism, all are asleep now in the tent side by side, or even the juvenile justice system will find for your children a new family of gays…

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You’re an idiot, a womanizer, and are also married? Givi from the flower kiosk, and sellers of candy and condoms applaud you. At your disposal are hotel rooms by the day, dating websites for one night only, intimate lounges, pay-venereologic clinics and expensive divorce lawyers. But in the totalitarian Sovok, marital fidelity was demanded, you could even be excluded from the ranks of the Communist Party just for non-conformity to the moral image of the builder of communism. And if, for such sudden love, a person was ready to do it, it means the feelings were indeed real and not just an instance of primitive immorality.

You’re an idiot-dissenter? You listen at night to “Voice of America”, you dream to give your country to the enemy for plunder, for the opportunity to live beautifully? You agree to be governed by foreigners, just for a piece from the master’s table? You have no respect for your country and its people, but at this time you continue to enjoy the benefits from what they created?

The country should be able to defend itself so that people like you, the millions of people not to be plunged into chaos and misery, as it was in the 90’s. Therefore, go, my dear man, or fell the forest for the benefit of the working people, or leave forever for your cherished capitalist paradise. So that others do not suffer because of your stupidity and vendibility.

You’re 16, you’re a young moron who wants jeans, chewing gum, a poster of Kiss, a magazine with naked boobs, a block of Marlborough, a roommate called Galya, a moped, to sleep till noon and jerk off to the film “Emmanuelle”, but after you classes you have extra curricular aircraft modelling, swimming, three times a week music school, and then another Sunday school cleanup and waste paper collection. And on TV – “Obvious yet unbelievable”, “Club of cinema travelers”, “I Want to know everything”, “Animal world”, “You can do it”, films about the Great Patriotic war, Comedy of Gaidai, and the next series of “the adventures of electronics”. And amongst magazines – “Technique of youth”, “Science and life”, and “Change”.

And constrainedly you had to develop into a cultured, educated, well-rounded, and decent person. And to become a pilot, doctor, designer, scientist, or at least a respected miner or a machine operator at the factory. And there was virtually no choice to become a hipster transvestite, food stylist, blogger, image consultant, club promoter, artist, conceptualist, an eyebrow designer, or a dog collar modeller…

And now in every sad merchandiser, who lays out on the counter cans of canned corn in accordance with the planogram, is a hidden polar explorer, an astronaut, a scientist, a pioneer, an educator, a humanist, or even someone who could teach us to understand the language of dolphins… Because for capitalism it is better if they stay behind the counter.

The idea of the USSR was beautiful, the execution of it was impeached by the human factor, which I mentioned in the beginning of the article, but nowadays virtually no-one came close to this humanistic way of social organization of common living. And in this respect, the USSR was the most Christian state, despite the declared separation of government and the Church.

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USSR was a country that was making all of us better. Making us into people, and not just consumers of goods of light and food industry. It released and arose in us the most noble qualities, and not base instincts. It allowed us, due to the same lack of the possibility of an incorrect choice, to rise above ourselves and to achieve such breakthroughs, discoveries, and feats, that now it is impossible to believe that it was us.

In general, the USSR was like a big kindergarten, where we, the inexperienced, were told when to eat, when to sleep, we were watched so that we didn’t run without slippers, were vaccinated and received quartz treatment, taught fun songs and clever stories, direct our energies in the right direction, and gave the opportunity to become a little rabbit, or a snowflake, or a fox, hiding from us sharp objects, punishing us for bad behavior, praised and rewarded for good, formed a clear understanding of Good and Evil, without shades of grey, without ambiguity, without predetermined results.

But it suddenly seemed to us that we were adults, we wanted to go over the fence, to freedom, to make the decision for ourselves, not to eat semolina and not to listen to the teacher, play with matches, not to brush your teeth, to wear sandals in the winter, and feed ourselves only with candy.

And once the gate to the garden was opened… What awaited us there and how it all ended, we all know.

“Don’t lie, that the fallen USSR was the abode of evil and falsity. I remember these times. I remember how everything was before. There were no wolves gnashing teeth. People believed in one another, and instead of pushing the weak, they always extended a hand. Sex didn’t climb above love there. And brotherhood was just brotherhood. And on TV we were not taught to murder, steal, or to whore around.”

“What happiness is was understood by everyone in their own way. But all together people knew and understood that it is necessary to live honestly, to work hard, and to love and cherish this huge happy land called the Soviet country”.

My Motherland is the USSR . The best country in the world. Soviet country.

Happiness is to live in your country … when in the morning you want to go to work, and in the evening you want to go home…

When you know that tomorrow will come, in which there will be no war and famine … gangsters or prostitutes..

But there will be your friends, favourite work, your wife and children.. Children who dream of becoming Doctors and Astronauts.

Children who will for sure come home in the evening…

Whoever does not regret the collapse of the USSR, has no heart. And those who want to restore it in its previous form have no head…Those who have a heart and head know – Socialism is inevitable. USSR 2.0 will be. Will be different. How it will be is unknown…. only one thing is known – Russian gives birth to Soviet.

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