NEW – March 13, 2022
When all the rats ran away, the ship stopped sinking. What will the return of Ivan Urgant to the TV air mean?
Colleagues write that the audience of “Echo of Moscow” and “Dozhd“, brokers and IT specialists are leaving Russia en masse. Journalists of the liberal pool, cultural figures, managers of some companies are leaving. Their roof in the authorities began to leak, so they decided to leave Russia and get out of harm’s way.
But the problem is that when it’s all over, Russia risks falling into the euphoria of victorious forgiveness. Theses will sound: “It’s time to end the civil war”, “To whoever remembers the old, that’s out of sight”, “It’s time for civil peace”, “The victor must be magnanimous”. And again, the rats will gradually begin to return to abandoned habitable burrows. Getting off with a slight fright.
The main indicator of the return of rats will be the return of the Urgant show to the grid of the “First” TV channel. He has now left for Israel with his family, but what should he do there for more than three to six months? Alla Pugacheva has already returned to the information space – she said that she did not run away. And she went on vacation and for medical treatment. She didn’t say where. As soon as she is cured, she will come. The money will start to run out – so she will come back.
Suddenly Maksim Galkin will start appearing. He will say that he is out of politics and understands little about it, but he wanted nothing more – peace and friendship. He was misunderstood and he is sorry. But the topic is closed, it’s time to get out of the trench, pick up the overcoat and go home. And all the programs will suddenly talk about peace.
And in the world, someone has to make the audience laugh. Who better to do this than Urgant and Galkin? The people are tired of the war and want joy. So stop remembering the past, which one of you is without sin, first throw a stone at Galkin.
It is quiet, and in silence the footsteps of feet shod in soft slippers will sound. This is McDonald’s and Toyota returning to Russia. Container ships with the inscription “Maersk” on the sides appear again on the routes. Depressed customs brokers and port managers will revive. Youtube will announce the return of monetisation for bloggers. How Kseniya Sobchak will emerge from oblivion with a short interview. Yury Dud will post the first video.
Then on the “First” channel they will briefly talk about Swarovski’s return to Russia. They will add that some haute couture brands are thinking about returning. And Deutsche Bank and Leroy Merlin will open their arms to everyone, saying that they did not go anywhere, having survived the blockade in Russia. They have always been with their people, where their people, unfortunately, were. With us, that is.
Coca and Pepsi Cola will return to the shelves. Audi dealers are running around the centers of big cities in search of a suitable car dealership. Dollars will appear in banks, the first Hollywood premiere will take place in cinemas. Quietly, imperceptibly, the rats will return and pretend that they did not go anywhere. We just went on vacation and for medical treatment. And the fact that it coincided with the sanctions war is just a coincidence.
And it turns out that there is no money for your aviation industry again. Sanctions have emptied the cash register. That domestic software is again stuck somewhere in endless approvals. Siluanov‘s cheerful face will shine, and a slightly greying Nabiullina will say that the Central Bank will squeeze liquidity to target inflation.
And the press will slowly start trying to snap at the security forces. The first protesters against infringement of freedom of speech will appear. The journalist of the newspaper “Kommersant” will carefully come out and say: “I am Ivan Golunov” and will recoil his head to his shoulders, waiting to get hit. But it will not happen.
And the Moscow City Court will suddenly justify Venediktov‘s complaint about the closure of the radio station. It will not be restored, and “Echo of Dozhd” radio will launch nearby. Gazprom will give money for it. The dissident part of society must have its own media in a democratic country.
Scared? A sticky cold sweat suddenly broke out? Does a nasty fear creep into the soul? It’s really scary. All of this is familiar to us. We have already experienced this more than once in our lives. The frightened crow is afraid of a bush. Burned on milk, you blow on water.
Keep an eye on Urgant. If he returns to TV again, then the rats are coming back. It’s a sign. Urgant does not give private concerts, he is the media policy of the elite. As long as the central television believes that Urgant is bad for ratings, we are safe. If Urgant gets in, everyone will come back. That’s the most important thing.
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