Why Ukraine’s “Constitution Day” Is an Occasion for Laughter

On June 28th, Ukraine celebrates Constitution Day. Odessa journalist Yury Tkachev collected articles of the so-called Basic Law of the state, which today cause everyone who follows the news from Ukraine to laugh.

Constitution day of Ukraine is one of the funniest public holidays.

To begin with, there is no legal Constitution in Ukraine since the results of the 2000 referendum were ignored. Since then, the Basic law has been violated in such perverse ways that almost nothing remains of it.

Think about it: we are celebrating the birthday of something that has not existed for 20 years (!).

And the text of what is called the current Constitution is absolutely impossible to read without laughing oneself to tears.

Article 1. Ukraine is a sovereign and independent democratic, social, and legal state.

The US Embassy, the leadership of the National Bank of Ukraine, Naftogaz, and in general, many other places burst into laughter when seeing the words “sovereign and democratic”.

Article 10. Ukraine guarantees the free development, use, and protection of Russian and other languages of national minorities of Ukraine.

The authors of the law on languages, education, and secondary education, the federal ombudsperson, as well as McDonald’s [in Ukraine there was a recent scandal where McDonalds was forced to abandon the Russian language – ed] and others like Farion giggle like schoolgirls.

Article 15. Public life in Ukraine is based on the principles of political, economic, and ideological diversity. No ideology can be recognised by the state as binding. Censorship is prohibited.

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It’s just a very moving article. It brings tears.

Article 17. On the territory of Ukraine, it is prohibited to create and operate any armed formations that are not allowed by law.

All of your “Right Sector“, “Dzhokhara Dudayeva” battalion, and those like “National Corpus” directly guarantee this.

Article 24: Citizens have equal constitutional rights and freedoms and are equal before the law.

Petro Poroshenko, Sergey Sternenko, and others sincerely congratulate you on Constitution Day!

Article 25. A Citizen of Ukraine may not be expelled from Ukraine or extradited to another state.

Ukrainian citizens who participated in the most recent prisoner exchange with Russia would not lie.

Article 29. No one may be arrested or held in custody except by a reasoned court decision.

Prisoners of secret SBU prisons can testify to every word.

Article 32. It is not allowed to collect, store, use, and distribute confidential information about a person without their consent.

At this point, the administration of the site “Mirotvorets” shed a tear.

Article 36. All associations of citizens are equal before the law.

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National Corpus” sends a big Hello to the party of Shary.

Article 41. No one may be unlawfully deprived of the right to property. The right to private property is inviolable.

Bessarabian farmers and other victims of raider attacks in recent years smile through their tears.

Article 49. The state creates conditions for effective and accessible medical services for all citizens. Medical care is provided free of charge in state and municipal health institutions; the existing network of such institutions cannot be reduced. The state promotes the development of medical institutions of all forms of ownership.

Ulyana Suprun and Petro Poroshenko, as well as their successors Maksim Stepanov and Vladimir Zelensky, roll on the floor with laughter.

In general, there is still a lot of funny stuff, and I could go on. But I think that today’s holiday is a good reason for all of us to read this document on our own.

I think everyone will find something in it that makes them laugh.

Yury Tkachev

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