What Will Happen If the EU Doesn’t Give Ukraine Its Visa-Free Regime!

Translated by Ollie Richardson & Angelina Siard


Vasily Volga


Old-grandma Europe is confused. What to do? How to be? While to do all this mischief for the sake of America – it is always with pleasure. But to make Ukraine enter the EU – it became a disaster. To promise does not mean to marry.

And how the wisemen of the EU were inventive to save their face and at the same time to show Ukraine the shoulder. They were discriminatory towards the Association Agreement, presented humiliating conditions for a visa free regime, required the destruction of Ukrainian industry, and gave virtually zero quotas for trade! But it didn’t work!

Nothing helped. These smartasses underestimated our [Ukraine – ed] obstinacy and stupidity.

We spit on our trade! We refused all our traditional markets, and we will do without your European market too.

And we spit on our industry! What do we need it for?!

And we also spit on our pride! As if it even matters! What can we do with this pride? Empty the Polish bedpan with it? It’s not helpful for us in this case. We know and believe that we have to wait little more, and we will be allowed to empty the bedpan of the Poles, but also of the French and Germans! The main thing is to believe!

And also we staged a civil war. And all this for the sake of European values. For the sake of panties and free single-sex love. Everything for the sake of freedom! And if you knew how many bodies we can give to your free European community! Wooo!!! Both women’s and men’s bodies! For every taste and at any price. Everything for you! We will turn ourselves inside-out just for you to receive us. However you like – as carcasses, in little groups, or as sexual minorities.

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That’s why today our President, Petro Poroshenko, said that if, after all this sado-masochistic Ukrainian-European way, you will not give us a visa-free regime, we will hold you accountable. Yes – it won’t be you who will do it, but us! And we will hold you accountable to the fullest extent of our “revolutionary dignity”. You thought that we would not fulfil this idiocy that you demanded from us? Yeah! Of course! You will not live long enough to see it. We will even provide universal castration if you require it, but you will give us a visa-free regime!

We’re waiting!

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